New View Therapy

About me and the therapy I offer:

As well as providing therapy for issues such as anxiety, grief, trauma and relationships; my personal experiences, my client work and training all make me ideally placed to help with birth trauma/babyloss, gender identity and neurodiversity.THERAPY RELATING TO NEURODIVERSITYAwareness of neurodiversity is increasing and whether diagnosed, or undiagnosed, many people now are now linking their thoughts and behaviours to autism (ASD), ADHD, ADD, ODD and OCD.
I have worked with people of various ages who are seeking some understanding of their condition or disorder. Processing a diagnosis or simply starting to recognise neurodiverse tendencies can be challenging. I work with the individual, meeting their needs through accommodations to sessions where necessary or I can work with family members or carers who are supporting people with neurodiversity.GENDER IDENTITY ISSUES• Non binary and transgender identity
• Intersex individuals
• Gender dysphoria
• Relationship and sexuality issues
• Gender fluidity
• Issues relating to social, hormonal and physical/surgical transitioning.
We live in a world where tolerance and understanding is not always forthcoming and members of the queer community are increasingly at risk from prejudice and ignorance.
If you would benefit from a supportive, safe and non-judgmental space to discuss how your gender identity or sexuality is affecting your day to day life, then please get in touch.CHILDLOSS, BIRTH TRAUMA, STILLBIRTH & INFERTILITY• Infertility,
• Miscarriage,
• Stillbirth,
• Medical termination,
• Unwanted pregnancy
• Traumatic childbirth experience
• Neo natal death,
• Sudden death (including cot death),
The grief of losing a child, or not being able to have a child, can be overwhelming and I provide a safe, neutral space for you to process this.
Each person's experience is different and I will support you while you work through your grief and repercussions of your loss.
I can support grandparents, siblings and other family members who might be struggling with their own response to this loss.

What to expect from me:

I take time to hear your experiences and work with you to focus on a way forward, helping you find ways to improve your understanding of yourself and your situation. I'm here to help with any challenges you face. We will work together to understand your current issues, make sense of past experiences and focus on your long-term goals. I can help with anxiety, grief, depression, low self esteem, relationship difficulties, emotional and physical trauma as well as a variety of other issues. I’ve worked with victims of physical and sexual assault and people who've suffered childhood neglect or abuse. I work in an Integrative way, helping you to voice your concerns and think about the way forward. This means that I can use a variety of approaches with clients including psychodynamic, gestalt, solution focused, CBT and transactional analysis. Therefore, your needs become the priority and we find ways of getting the therapy to fit you rather than you fitting into the therapy.

It's a big decision to start therapy and it's important to find someone you feel comfortable with. I offer a free 20-minute telephone consultation, allowing you to chat to me in confidence without obligation, to see if I'm right for you.

Face to face sessions (weekdays 9am – 3pm) are based in my consulting room in Westcliff on Sea, Essex.
Online sessions are also available.Do please get in touch for a no cost, no obligation discussion. I'd be happy to help you. I look forward to hearing from you and exploring how we might work together.

Contact

• email: [email protected]
• Tel: 07734 800584

February 9th 2025

A phrase many of us will have heard before. Wise insight perhaps, but is it welcome? Is it accurate?
In what circumstances have you been on the receiving end of this reassurance? Is it something you’ve said to comfort a friend or family member?
I’d love to hear your experiences of this phrase.There have been many times in my life where I can now see that there was something to take, something to gain from a personal struggle. I still, however, have reservations about this statement. For me, I think it depends on when this message is received.I recall very clearly that a colleague offered these words as a support to me shortly after I returned to work following a late miscarriage. Something started burning within me when I heard this. I appreciated that her words were coming from a kind space, but they felt so harsh and unsympathetic. I felt that there was an expectation that I should accept my loss and get on with my life, that my grief was misplaced and possibly self-indulgent.Time passed and further life experiences led me to see that perhaps this devastating outcome was indeed for the best. This was a perspective I was able to gain by experiencing the next stages of my life, by taking a view which only became possible after more devastating loss. I was able to reflect on that miscarriage as a necessary part of a bigger plan and found myself assuring friends and family that going through this traumatic, distressing and life altering experience was actually quite appropriate and acceptable.I now wonder how much of this interpretation was influenced by the desire to find “the reason” for my “thing”. Is it easier for us to find a logic to explain negative experiences than to accept the chaos of bad things happening with no reason? How much do we unsettle our inner expectations when we have a bad outcome. We are raised knowing that if we are kind, if we work hard, if we never give up, then we will be able to achieve our heart’s desire. Yes, these core beliefs help turn us into tenacious beings, but this can leave us without resilience and with little self-compassion when things don’t go our way.Before I got to the stage of being able to tell my story through the lens of reason I had to process my belief system. I had to come to terms with the fact that I may not always achieve what I set out to achieve. Recognising that my determination and good nature would not always get me to the outcome I desired was shattering. My belief system had been crushed. The fables and fairytales that were part of my childhood, the expectations and behaviours that were encouraged and modelled to me as a teen and young adult were flawed. This new awareness shifted my world. I started to accept that sometimes, no matter what, sadnesses would occur, failure would be unavoidable. This was a sobering transformation and, as with most processes, over time this has settled into something more comfortable and appropriate for me to sit with.I now look at life using all the perspectives that have been shared with me, adjusting them to adapt to the realities I have experienced. Without trying our hardest we might not succeed, so all those core beliefs are valid. However, nothing is guaranteed and being the best version of ourselves does not always lead to the best outcomes. Over time, with the benefits of experience and hindsight we may be able to see that some things do indeed happen for a reason, but that is something that I prefer to work out for myself, not to be told by another.

21st January 2025:

Having watched the News from Washington yesterday, I feel compelled to speak out. Trump's statement is horrifying, ill-informed and divisive.
The FACTS are that some people are born with ambiguous genitalia, also referred to as intersex. This means that their genitals may not develop completely or that they may have both male and female features. This is not a new phenomenon.
It is also true that many people do not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth.
The issue of gender is not binary. We are not all simply male or female. It is much more complex than that. Whether this is a physical condition from birth or a gender identity awareness later in life does not matter.Transgender and non binary individuals, I see you and I stand with you!